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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29588580">I Told The Stars About You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoothoot4/pseuds/hoothoot4'>hoothoot4</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Bokuaka - Freeform, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Haikyuu - Freeform, M/M, haikyuu!! - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:49:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,727</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29588580</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoothoot4/pseuds/hoothoot4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>the odds of existing are slim<br/>therefore, the odds of you and I existing at the<br/>same time<br/>must be next to impossible,<br/>and I think that’s beautiful. </p><p>Bokuto wasn’t sure if he believed in fate, but maybe he’d say that the stars above them that night had cheered their fortune, and had celebrated the glory that was Akaashi Keiji and Bokuto Koutarou.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Told The Stars About You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello! Throughout this fic, please pay attention to the dates and times, they are crucial for the timeline of this story. Stars are also important. Hope you enjoy :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the odds of existing are slim</p><p>therefore, the odds of you and I existing at the</p><p>same time </p><p>must be next to impossible,</p><p>and I think that’s beautiful</p><p> </p><p>if i believed in fate</p><p>or soulmates </p><p>maybe i’d say that </p><p>the universe does work in my favor </p><p>after all,</p><p>because I got the chance to know you. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>///////</p><p> </p><p>Bokuto Koutarou believed in a lot of things. He believed in Santa until he was 12, he harbored the notion that ladybugs were good luck, and he hadn’t washed his volleyball jersey in over three months because he concluded that it was his lucky charm. He, however, didn’t believe in soulmates. </p><p>Perhaps it was because Bokuto had never formed a connection in his past that could be described as ‘soulmate worthy’, or maybe it was because he was far too impatient to wait for this special union to come to him. </p><p>He was perfectly satisfied with himself; he had never yearned to find someone to be his other half. </p><p>He never believed that the stars above him would conspire and plot a path for him. He would design that path for himself. He would write his own narrative. </p><p>He didn’t go looking for love. Love found him. It took him by surprise and caught him off guard. His love was the kind of love the stars themself were jealous of. </p><p>Which, perhaps, makes Bokuto Koutarou’s story just a little more tragic. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>///////<b> September 1, 4:13 AM.</b></p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The clock on the bedside table read 4:13 AM. Bokuto couldn’t sleep. It was the night before his first day at Fukurodani Academy, and he was filled to the brim with excitement as well as a pinch of nerves. He and his family had just recently moved to Tokyo from the Miyagi District, and he had passed the entrance exams to Fukurodani as a rising third year. Tomorrow, he’d pick up his uniform at the front office and become an official student at the school. </p><p>Bokuto’s heart thumped heavily as smiled up at the ceiling, imagining how this year would be. His senior year. </p><p>
  <em>I’m going to make so many new friends! I really hope I get a good schedule with some nice kids and- oh! Volleyball! I’ll get to play for a new team at a powerhouse school! This year is gonna be awesome. </em>
</p><p>Bokuto rolled over onto his side, pulling the fluffy comforter up to his chin. He could just barely make out the sounds of the city outside his window, cars honking and people talking. Even at 4:00 AM, the world was alive. People were laughing, moving, falling in love, <em> living their life.  </em></p><p><em>Tomorrow’s gonna be a good day, </em>Bokuto thought as he yawned, heavy eyelids finally falling shut. </p><p>Sleep eventually found its way to him, covering Bokuto fully like a warm blanket. </p><p>Morning came faster than expected, warm sunlight filtering in through the blinds, rays of it dancing on the covers of the bed excitedly. </p><p>Bokuto stretched his arms above his head and groaned as the sunshine dipped into his sleepy eyes. He reached out an arm and moved the blinds over to the side in order to take a peek out the window. The sky was waking up, muted blue and clear, not a cloud in the sky as the remnants of the orange and yellow sunrise faded away into the horizon. </p><p>He immediately felt a wave of unease slip over him.</p><p>
  <em>I didn’t wake up to my alarm...</em>
</p><p>Bokuto turned his head towards the clock. It read 8:34 AM. </p><p>
  <em>Shit! I forgot to set it! </em>
</p><p>Bokuto scrambled out of bed, knocking his ankle on the table.</p><p>“Shit!” He cursed aloud this time, grimacing at the pain as he quickly pulled the nearest sweatshirt up and over his head. </p><p>A few minutes later, after having <em> just </em> enough time to gel his hair up into its trademark style, Bokuto was manically sprinting down the street towards the metro station, praying he hadn’t already missed his train. </p><p>As Bokuto ran, the muted blue in the sky awoke and made way for a brighter, more vibrant color. The trees on the sides of the street came alive with the morning wind, a promise of the lively day ahead.   </p><p>He missed the train by 5 whole minutes. Disappointment and anger bubbled in his chest as he paced the platform. </p><p>“Oh my god! You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m such an idiot!” Bokuto huffed, plopping himself down onto the nearest bench. </p><p>
  <em>This sucks. And on my first day too! I’m actually stupid. Am I stupid? No. I’m an idiot. The biggest idiot. Holy shit I’m a dumbass. </em>
</p><p>Almost ten minutes had passed, and Bokuto had been so busy ranting in his head about himself that he hadn’t noticed the stranger sitting on the bench beside him. </p><p>At first glance, Bokuto noticed that the stranger was staring down intently at something on a notepad positioned in his lap, using a pen to scribble words onto the paper. At a second glance, Bokuto noticed that the boy was wearing a Fukurodani uniform. His dark eyelashes fluttered as his eyes danced across the paper, long slender fingers working the pen serenely over the lines. </p><p>“Hey! Hey, you!” Bokuto said enthusiastically towards the boy. “Did you miss the train too? I noticed you’re wearing a Fukurodani Uniform.” </p><p>The boy tore his gaze away from the paper, looking up and into Bokuto’s eyes with a stare that could rival the arctic tundra. He had dark messy hair, and the eyes that were so intensely holding his stare were a gunmetal blue. </p><p>“Yes I did, by almost three minutes, actually. I got held up this morning in my house,” the boy replied, without even a hint of disappointment in his voice at missing the train. </p><p>“I forgot to set my alarm, I have a habit of doing that. And on the first day too! Just my luck!” Bokuto replied with a hearty laugh. </p><p>The sides of the boys mouth curled up a tad, but based on the lack of emotion, Bokuto assumed that the smile was not genuine, but to be polite. </p><p>“What’s your name?” Bokuto asked, hoping to spark a friendly conversation between the two. </p><p>“My name is Akaashi Keiji. And you?” Akaashi said, while folding open his bag and placing the notepad and pen carefully inside. </p><p>Bokuto grinned widely at the question. Meeting and introducing himself to new people was always fun. “My name is Bokuto Koutarou! Today’s my first day ever at Fukurodani and I’m a third year!” </p><p>Akaashi nodded slowly at him, his stare unwavering. “I’m a second year. Where did you move from, Bokuto-san?” </p><p>“Miyagi! Tokyo’s really different from back there. Miyagi is like- all countryside! It’s a lot louder here too.” Bokuto mused. </p><p>“I bet,” Akaashi replied, turning to focus his attention on the loud approaching train further down the tracks. </p><p>“Is that ours?” Bokuto asked, straining his neck to look past Akaashi and down the tunnel. </p><p>“Probably,” Akaashi said, gathering his bag around his shoulders. </p><p>Bokuto did the same. </p><p> </p><p>///////</p><p> </p><p>The two rushed into school, both panting as they just barely made it into the building before the bell rang.</p><p>
  <em>We’re late! Kinda expected that but, wow, this sucks. Mom is gonna kill me. </em>
</p><p>“Bokuto-san, do you know where the front office is? On the metro you mentioned needing to pick up your uniform.” Akaashi asked, catching his breath. </p><p>“No, I don’t. No one gave me a map or anything so, no.” Bokuto huffed out a long sigh, already dreading needing to find his way around the large school. </p><p>“I could show you,” Akaashi offered, slowing down his walking pace, gripping his bag tightly on his shoulder. </p><p>Bokuto gave him a side glance. “But then you’d be late!” </p><p>“We’re already late.” </p><p>
  <em>Fair point. </em>
</p><p>“Okay fine, but I’ll owe you a favor in the future!” </p><p>Akaashi lifted an eyebrow at that, and began walking down the hallway. </p><p>
  <em>Shit, that was weird of me. What if he doesn’t wanna be my friend? Or even talk to me after this? How could I owe him a favor if we don’t talk? </em>
</p><p>Akaashi turned on his heel to look back at the older boy. He shot Bokuto with another one of his intense stares and said with a huff, “Are you coming?” </p><p>Bokuto’s heart leapt in his chest as he ran to catch up. </p><p>After Bokuto picked up his uniform with Akaashi’s help, they arrived at his first period. Once they reached room 222, Bokuto turned to Akaashi. </p><p>“Hold out your arm,” Bokuto said quickly as he busily rummaged through his bag. </p><p>Akaashi’s face turned with confusion, but he held out his hand anyways. Bokuto let out a loud “Ah Ha!” as he found a pen buried within the heaping mess of papers. </p><p>He grabbed Akaashi’s arm and scribbled his number onto his fair, pale skin. </p><p>“So I can buy you something later after school! The favor I said I'd owe you!” </p><p>“That isn’t necessary, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi said, shifting the bag on his shoulder.</p><p>“Duh, yes of course it is! What kind of a senpai would I be if I didn’t keep my word?” </p><p>Akaashi turned his gaze towards the floor and replied, “Okay. I’m going to first period now. Go ahead inside your class. See you later.” </p><p>Bokuto smiled and waved goodbye as Akaashi walked away. He then sighed, and turned his attention to the wooden door in front of him. </p><p>His heart sped up a notch as he peered through the glass window at the rest of the class inside. Today was going to be interesting. </p><p> </p><p>///////</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Come on! Pick up!  </em>
</p><p>The last bell of the day had just rung, and Bokuto was fighting back tears as he held his phone up to his ear.</p><p>One ring, two rings, then a third-</p><p>“Hello Bokuto-san.” </p><p>“Akaashi!'' Bokuto yelled into his phone a little too excitedly. </p><p>His first day at school had been awful, and it wasn’t even over yet. He enjoyed hearing Akaashi’s voice. </p><p>“Where are you? The bell rang like- five minutes ago! We’re going to get food, remember?”</p><p>“Yes, I remember. Tell me where you are right now, I’ll come meet you.”</p><p>“I’m by the, uh,” Bokuto looked around the schoolyard, “by all the cherry blossom trees. And I can see the clock tower.”</p><p>“Okay, I’m on my way.” </p><p>Bokuto silently mouthed “YES” and pumped his fist into the air, which earned him a few confused glances from the students nearby. He hung up on the phone, and slumped backwards against one of the cherry blossom trees in the yard. </p><p>He turned his head up at the leaves, smiling as one fell down directly in front of his face. The slight breeze in the air was refreshing, and Bokuto imagined it was clearing his head as it rustled the petals on the tree. He reached his hand out to catch a blossom as it fell. He ran the petal through his fingers, silently admiring it’s silky texture and beautiful color. </p><p>Today had felt so long. Bokuto had tried to introduce himself to so many people, and while they were nice enough, no one stuck around or talked to him outside of schoolwork. Bokuto was a big extrovert, and not being able to talk with people, or even make a few friends successfully had made him feel incredibly lonely. </p><p>For the first time in his life, Bokuto had sat alone at lunch and simply listened to music as he ate. </p><p>So, he was more than thrilled that Akaashi had said yes to hanging out and getting food, under the premise that Bokuto owed him a favor from earlier that morning. </p><p>Bokuto opened his eyes suddenly, spotting his new favorite underclassman making his way across the schoolyard. Bokuto waved wildly, running to meet him. </p><p>“Yo! Akaashi! Hey!”</p><p>Akaashi lifted his hand and gave a little wave back, allowing a light smile to cross his face. Bokuto ran his hand through his hair, his heart thumping a little faster at the sight of his new friend. </p><p>“Hello Bokuto-san. Ready to go?”</p><p>“Yup!”</p><p>As they walked side by side, Bokuto marveled up at the pretty clouds in the bright blue sky. The weather today was beautiful. </p><p>“How was your first day?” Akaashi asked, crossing his arms over his chest, his hair moving slightly with the breeze. </p><p>Bokuto internally groaned. He didn’t want to bug Akaashi with the details. “Do you want me to be honest?”</p><p>Akaashi let out a snort. “Yes. Obviously.” </p><p>Bokuto let out a large sigh and began ranting. “It was really awful, actually. I talked to a ton of people, but I got the feeling they didn’t really wanna talk to me back. Plus, my math class is already super confusing. I don’t know how I’m gonna pass the class if I can’t understand what they’re teaching on the very first day. They made us take a quiz to see what we already know and I failed!” His voice cracked at the last sentence, and he hoped Akaashi hadn’t heard. </p><p>“Your day wasn’t all bad though, correct? We’re going to get food,” Akaashi pointed out, glancing over to gauge Bokuto’s reaction. </p><p>Bokuto felt a grin spread across his face as he took in Akaashi’s words. </p><p>“Hey that's true! I also got to meet you! And I signed up for the volleyball club. So I guess you’re right.” </p><p>“You play volleyball?” Akaashi asked, dark eyes widening and a hint of surprise laced in his voice. “So do I.”</p><p>“Hah no way! I’m a spiker. I was the ace back at my old school! What do you play?”</p><p>“I’m the setter.” </p><p>“That's so cool!”</p><p> </p><p>///////</p><p> </p><p>“No offense ‘Kaashi, but that is so gross.” </p><p>Akaashi let out a small laugh, and Bokuto felt his eyes lift and his mouth open in a small wave of awe. He had never heard Akaashi laugh before. He widely smiled and laughed along with him as Akaashi held out the ice cream he had ordered to show it off. It was a disgusting combo of 4 different flavors, and Bokuto was wildly amused at Akaashi’s strange taste. </p><p>“You said I could get whatever I wanted. You owed me this favor.”</p><p>“I did, didn’t I,” Bokuto laughed, holding his own ice cream up to his lips. </p><p> </p><p>/////// <b>September 15, 3:15 PM. </b></p><p> </p><p>“This part is wrong. It should be cosine 4,” Akaashi said, using his pencil to circle the correct answer he had scribbled onto Boktuo’s homework. </p><p>The two were at Bokuto’s house, Akaashi helping Bokuto complete his math homework in order to prepare for his test tomorrow. </p><p>Bokuto groaned, and threw his head against his desk with a thump. “This is embarrassing.” </p><p>“How come? You’re learning, right?” Akaashi asked, the confusion evident in his tone. </p><p>“Yes I’m learning, you’re a good teacher.”</p><p>“Then what's the problem?”</p><p>“It’s just, you’re a second year and better at math than I am. I should be the one helping <em> you </em>with homework!”</p><p>“There’s nothing wrong with needing help. Especially in math,” Akaashi grumbled, “math sucks.” </p><p>Bokuto, with his head still on the desk, laughed into his arms. Akaashi was funny, even when he didn’t mean to be. </p><p>“Can we take a break?” Bokuto asked, turning and resting his head on his hand to look over at where Akaashi was sitting on Bokuto’s bed. “Please?”</p><p>“Okay, sure. Want to talk?” Akaashi asked, putting the homework down and off to the side.</p><p>“Yeah! Let's talk about how we’ve known each other for what is it, two weeks now?! And I barely know anything about you.” </p><p>Akaashi folded his legs up and wrapped his arms around them. “What’s there to know?” </p><p>
  <em>What do I wanna know? </em>
</p><p>“Uh, how about the first day I met you at the station! What were you doing on your notepad?” Bokuto asked, eyebrows raising. </p><p>Akaashi shifted on the bed. “You remember that? I was brainstorming. I draw, and whenever I have an idea I write it down. I was thinking of drawing a cityscape next, actually.” </p><p>“Wow, I bet your art is awesome! Can I see sometime?” </p><p>“Of course,” Akaashi tilted his head. </p><p>Bokuto hummed in response. “What's your favorite color? Mine is yellow.”</p><p>“I like blue. Green is nice too, I suppose.” </p><p>“Blue like the sky?” Bokuto glanced out his open window at the bright, very blue and very clear sky. He closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of the warm, airy wind on his face. He opened them suddenly at the sound of Akaashi’s voice. </p><p>“Dark blue. Like the sky at night, almost.” Akaashi tipped his head up at the ceiling, as if he could see through it and up into the midnight blue, starry sky he spoke of. </p><p>“I like stars,” Bokuto said as he stared off into the space beside Akaashi’s head on the wall. </p><p>“Me too.” </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>/////// <b>September 20, 8:30 AM. </b></p><p> </p><p>“Good morning Bokuto-san,” Akaashi waved to Bokuto as they approached each other on the metro platform. </p><p>“Morning ‘Kaashi! Ready for school?” Bokuto asked, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet. </p><p>“I never am. But, I have something for you.” Akaashi reached into his school bag and pulled out a smaller bag. “Here,” Akaashi said, handing the colorful bag over to Bokuto to hold, dropping his gaze to the platform beneath them. </p><p>Bokuto’s eyebrows raised in confusion. “But-”</p><p>“You may not have told me about your birthday, but your Mom might have mentioned it,” Akaashi said sheepishly. </p><p>Bokuto held the bag out in front of him in awe. He opened the top and pulled out a small snowy owl plush. </p><p>
  <em>An owl! It’s so cute! But how-</em>
</p><p>“How’d you know I like owls, ‘Kaashi?” Bokuto looked up, holding the owl carefully in his hand. </p><p>“You told me. Really quickly while we were walking to the park a few days ago, you were talking about how you wished you could fly.”</p><p>Bokuto felt his heart clench in the best way possible, his face heating up simultaneously. </p><p>
  <em>Akaashi remembered all that?</em>
</p><p>“Wow, I- thank you, Akaashi.” Bokuto quickly pulled Akaashi into a tight hug, and the younger boy grunted at the sudden motion. </p><p>“You’re welcome. Happy birthday, Bokuto-san.”</p><p> </p><p>/////// <b>September 29, 4:15 PM. </b></p><p> </p><p>“You remember the drill, yes?” Akaashi asked as they neared the yellow house on the corner of the road. </p><p>“Yup! Smile, be friendly, but not too friendly. Or loud! Be really polite and don’t mention my bad grades. Then we go straight up to your room.” </p><p>Akaashi nodded curtly. “Yes. My mom is very strict and I don’t want her to dislike you.” Akaashi quickly looked over at Bokuto. “Not that there’s anything to dislike,” He added swiftly. </p><p>Bokuto chuckled. “I get what you mean.” </p><p>Akaashi pulled a key from his bag and used it on the door. </p><p>“Mom, I’m home,” Akaashi alerted the huge house. </p><p>Bokuto’s mouth fell open at the interior of the house. It was far different from Bokuto’s, who’s was currently littered with boxes, and had far less expensive furniture. </p><p>“Hello Keiji, who’s this?” Akaashi’s mom asked as she rounded the corner, staring the two boys down with the same cold gaze Akaashi had given Bokuto on their first day. She looked a lot like Akaashi did. She was lean and tall, and just like her son, had dark wavy hair.</p><p>“Mom, this is Bokuto Koutarou. He’s a friend from school, and his family just moved here from Miyagi.” </p><p>
  <em>Don’t screw up, don’t screw up, don’t screw up.</em>
</p><p>“Hi Akaashi-san! I’m Bokuto Koutarou, it’s nice to meet you!” Bokuto bowed to Akaashi’s mom politely. </p><p>She tilted her head and replied disinterestedly, “It’s nice to meet you too, Bokuto-kun.” </p><p>“Okay, we’re going now,” Akaashi quickly grabbed Bokuto by the arm and pulled him up the stairs forcefully, earning them both a strange look from Akaashi’s mom in return. </p><p>Bokuto laughed, throwing his head back as Akaashi shut the bedroom door behind them. “What was <em> that </em>?! I thought I was doing well.” </p><p>“You were. It's not you, it's just that I don’t have people over that often, and when I do, my Mom has a tendency to scare them off. She’s very,” Akaashi paused to sigh, “pushy. And cold. Sometimes.” </p><p>Bokuto tched. “She can’t scare me off.” </p><p>Akaashi tipped his head back against the wooden door. “That’s what they all say.” </p><p>Bokuto took the moment of silence in the air to look around the bedroom. It was very <em> Akaashi </em>. The furniture was minimalistic, and everything on his desk was neatly organized. It didn’t look like there was a single thing out of place. The covers on the bed were black, and the carpet on the floor, as well as the walls, were white. </p><p>“I like your room!” Bokuto announced as he threw himself onto the bed.</p><p>Akaashi placed his bag on a hook in the closet, and settled himself on the chair in front of the desk. </p><p>“Thanks. I was going to order some stuff online, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted.”</p><p>Bokuto let out a small snicker and declared, “You should make your room more like mine.”</p><p>“So, messy, dirty, and unorganized?”</p><p>“Akaashi! I meant like the decorations! It's not even that messy! Most of the time,” Bokuto pouted. </p><p>Akaashi laughed. Genuinely laughed. Bokuto’s heart did a little flip, and he sat back on his elbows and watched as Akaashi powered up his computer. Bokuto felt warm. Not physically, but mentally. Talking to Akaashi made him happy. Being near Akaashi felt like constantly sitting under the sun’s rays. It wasn’t tiring, like sitting under the sun on the beach had a tendency to be. It was always just comforting, in the best way possible. Other people would judge Bokuto Koutarou. Akaashi never did.  </p><p>
  <em>Fuck. When did this start to happen? Do I… like Akaashi?</em>
</p><p>Bokuto lay on the bed shocked with himself. He wasn’t surprised he had feelings for a boy, but more so shocked that said boy was Akaashi. The two were wildly different in almost every single way. </p><p>Bokuto was an extrovert, Akaashi an introvert. </p><p>Bokuto was loud, Akaashi was quiet. </p><p>Bokuto was emotional, Akaashi was logical. </p><p>Hell, Bokuto didn’t like coffee, Akaashi relied on it like an addict.</p><p>That said, Bokuto had still caught feelings. Perhaps it were these differences that made Akaashi so likeable. Bokuto had never met anyone like him before.</p><p>“Akaashi?” The sound of Bokuto’s own voice escaping his lips surprised him. He wasn’t exactly sure where he intended the next conversation to go. </p><p>“Yes, Bokuto-san?” Akaashi said, swivelling the chair around to face Bokuto.</p><p>“Okay first of all, you can drop the ‘san’. Please just Bokuto. ‘San’ makes me feel like an old man.”</p><p>Akaashi snorted. “Okay, Bokuto. Did you have a question?”</p><p>“Do you believe in like- fate, and stuff?” </p><p>
  <em>Why the hell did I just say that?</em>
</p><p>Akaashi leaned back and scrunched his eyes, as if in deep thought. Bokuto thought he looked cute when he did this. </p><p>“I suppose it's not completely impossible. Why do you ask?”</p><p>“Saw a post on instagram ‘bout it. It's been bugging me all day.”</p><p>Akaashi lifted an eyebrow. “Why would that bug you?”</p><p>“Because I’ve never thought about it before. The universe and fate, I mean. Wouldn’t that be scary? Knowing you don’t have any control over your life?” </p><p>“Wouldn’t that be comforting too?”<br/>
<br/>
Bokuto made a noise of confusion.</p><p>Akaashi sighed and continued, “Perhaps it's comforting knowing that there are no such things as mistakes. You could never truly mess up, knowing that the universe has everything plotted out for you. Everything was meant to be, everything that happened in the past and will happen in the future is predestined. I suppose that could bring solace, for some people.” Akaashi smiled. </p><p>Bokuto, in that moment, was hanging onto every single one of Akaashi’s words.</p><p>
  <em>I’m so fucked. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>/////// <b>October 11, 2:22 PM.</b></p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Bokuto watched Akaashi flinch as the two listened to the sound of a plate shattering. Bokuto could hear the shouting even through Akaashi’s closed bedroom door. Akaashi’s parents were fighting. Their voices were distant enough that distinct words were impossible to make out, but the loud clamor of the argument still made its way to the boy’s ears.</p><p>“Akaashi?” Bokuto asked quietly, looking over to where Akaashi sat on his bed. </p><p>He looked up with wide eyes, as if he was both embarrassed and anxious at his parents sudden outburst. </p><p>“Wanna listen to music?” Bokuto asked, holding up one of his airpods for Akaashi to see. </p><p>The younger boy nodded almost immediately. Bokuto threw him the airpod, and clicked over to his favorite playlist. Akaashi put the earbud in and opted to lean against the headboard, closing his eyes. </p><p>It was slightly unnerving to see Akaashi like this. Usually calm, collected Akaashi, looking on edge and anxious at the noise. Bokuto realized he was staring at Akaashi as he rested, so he turned back to the desk and started on his homework reluctantly. </p><p>The yelling downstairs eventually ceased, and when Bokuto turned back around in the chair to check on Akaashi, he had moved from his position against the headboard and had fallen asleep on top of the covers of his bed. </p><p>Bokuto’s breath hitched in his chest as he looked. Akaashi’s mouth was slightly open, his face completely relaxed, as opposed to the uninterested and somewhat intimidating gaze he normally wore. He looked beautiful. </p><p>
  <em>I am so whipped. </em>
</p><p>Bokuto felt almost possessed as he stood, grabbing the fuzzy blanket that was draped over his lap as he did so. Bokuto lay the blanket overtop Akaashi, hoping the younger boy didn’t feel anxious as he slept. </p><p>Bokuto grabbed his bag and softly crossed the room over to the door, closing it quietly behind him. He tread down the stairs with care, peeking around the corner into the living room, hoping Akaashi’s parents weren’t near. To Bokuto’s unfortune, the two were sitting across from each other at the table, still having an argument, just at a quieter, more manageable tone. One that could have never been detected from inside Akaashi’s room. </p><p>Bokuto cleared his throat, hoping the parents would notice him. When they looked up at the sudden sound, Bokuto bowed and stated, “I’m just heading out! Thank you for allowing me to come over.”</p><p>“Yes, of course Bokuto-kun. You can see yourself out,” Akaashi’s mother said in return. </p><p>Bokuto smiled and nodded, making his way over to the Genkan in the room over. As he stood putting on his shoes, he overheard the parents continuing to talk in a hushed whisper. Bokuto tried to focus as best as he could on his shoes, but he couldn’t help from eavesdropping.</p><p>“Akito, it's disgusting. It's a perversion of nature. What kind of parents would we be if we allowed Keiji to continue to live like this?” Bokuto heard Akaashi’s mom utter. </p><p>“Are you even willing to spend the money on therapy? It's incredibly expensive this day and age. Just because he likes boys-“</p><p>Bokuto closed the front door behind him before he could hear too much. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>///////<b>October 11, 8:12 PM.</b></p><p> </p><p>To: KAASHI </p><p>8:12 PM:</p><p>-heyy!! srry i dipped on u earlier</p><p>-u fell asleep + i didnt wanna wake u.. u def needed ur rest!! :D</p><p>-everything good??</p><p> </p><p>To: KAASHI </p><p>8:31 PM:</p><p>-AKAAASHIII u here???</p><p> </p><p>To: KAASHI</p><p>12:04 AM: </p><p>-well ur probably asleep rn but i hope everythings ok!!</p><p>-goodnight!! sleep well! :))</p><p> </p><p>/////// <b>October 12, 8:35 AM.</b></p><p> </p><p>“Morning ‘Kaashi!” Bokuto called, waving wildly as he spotted his friend further down the platform. </p><p>Akaashi heard Bokuto’s greeting, and immediately turned his head away and back at the tracks. </p><p>
  <em>Did I do something wrong? Is Akaashi mad at me? </em>
</p><p>“Yo, A-Dawg, you good? You didn’t respond to my texts yesterday.” Bokuto asked worriedly as he came within earshot of Akaashi. </p><p>“Yes, Bokuto-san, I’m okay,” Akaashi murmured quietly. </p><p>Bokuto’s heart dropped. ‘San’. Akaashi added the honorific back. </p><p>“Dude if somethings wrong you can-”</p><p>“I said I was okay,” Akaashi growled at him, the annoyance clear in his voice. </p><p>Bokuto’s mood switched from worried to dumbstruck in a heartbeat. Akaashi had never snapped at him before. The silence following was heavy and suffocating. </p><p>Bokuto looked over at Akaashi, who had his arms crossed and his head tilted down at the ground. If Bokuto knew any better, he’d say it looked as if Akaashi was holding back tears.</p><p>Bokuto wanted to say something. Anything. </p><p>“You can always talk to me, ya know,” he settled on. </p><p>Akaashi sighed, his voice hitching on its way out past his lips. “I know. I’m sorry for snapping at you. I’m just a little stressed out.” </p><p>“I just want you to know that I’ll be here to listen, if you ever wanna tell me about it. And please, for the love of god, drop the ‘san’.” </p><p>Akaashi smiled and stared down at his shoes. “Okay, Bokuto-san.”</p><p>“Akaashi!”</p><p>“I’m joking. Sorry, Bokuto.” </p><p>Bokuto grabbed Akaashi by the shoulders and quickly pulled him into a warm embrace. </p><p>A few seconds passed before Akaashi hesitantly wrapped his arms around Bokuto’s back, pushing his head into Bokuto’s chest as he did so. They stayed like that for a few seconds longer before Bokuto pulled away to look into Akaashi’s face, whose lips had turned up slightly into a small smile. </p><p>“Thank you.” </p><p> </p><p>/////// <b>October 12, 2:00 PM.</b></p><p> </p><p>“So are we hanging out at your place or mine today?” Bokuto asked as he snuck up on Akaashi, who was slouched lazily against a tree in the schoolyard. The final bell had just rung five minutes ago, and Bokuto had just hurriedly made his way over to their meet up spot. </p><p>Unfazed by Bokuto’s sudden appearance, Akaashi grabbed his bag from off the grass. “Actually, I have to go somewhere today with my parents,” Akaashi said almost uninterestedly, tilting his head to look over at Bokuto, who was currently pouting with his hands crossed over his stomach. </p><p>The two seemed to be on the same wavelength as they both began walking towards the street. </p><p>“Where are you going?” Bokuto asked, kicking a small rock on the sidewalk with his shoe. Bokuto asked, but he was plenty sure he knew the answer already. </p><p><em>Conversion therapy, </em>Bokuto thought unhappily. </p><p>Akaashi was silent for a few seconds, before replying, “Nowhere important. Just somewhere I’d rather not be, that's all.”</p><p>Bokuto kicked the rock again, this time further down the pavement. </p><p>“Well I think its dumb you gotta go somewhere you don’t want to be.”</p><p>Akaashi kicked the rock this time, sending it in Bokuto’s direction once more.<br/>
<br/>
“You and me both.” </p><p> </p><p>/////// <b>October 13, 12:02 AM.</b></p><p> </p><p>Bokuto couldn’t sleep. He stared up at the dark ceiling, recalling the conversation he had with Akaashi earlier on their way home from school. He was worried. He knew it wasn’t his place, but Bokuto was seconds away from calling Akaashi and letting him know that he knew. He was 99 percent sure that he knew. He knew, and he was incredibly upset. Upset that Akaashi’s parents were, as Bokuto called them in his head, ‘turds’, and treated their son as they did. Especially for something he had no control over. It was lame. It was stupid. It was cruel. </p><p>Bokuto’s patience ran thin as he reached over to grab for his phone. </p><p> </p><p>To: KAASHI</p><p>12:03 AM:</p><p>-yo kaash$$ u still awake??? </p><p> </p><p>A reply came quicker than Bokuto had expected. </p><p> </p><p>To: Bokuto </p><p>12:04 AM:</p><p>-yes, im awake. </p><p> </p><p>To: KAASHI</p><p>12:04 AM:</p><p>-how ru doin???</p><p> </p><p>To: Bokuto </p><p>12:05 AM:</p><p>-im fine. how are you?</p><p> </p><p>To: KAASHI</p><p>12:05 AM:</p><p>-IM GOOD!! :3 but like- HOW RU DOING DOING?! </p><p> </p><p>To: Bokuto</p><p>12:05 AM:</p><p>-im doing fine fine</p><p> </p><p>To: KAASHI</p><p>12:06 AM:</p><p>how was that thing u told me ab earlier??</p><p> </p><p>To: Bokuto </p><p>12:06 AM</p><p>it was… interesting, to say the least. im tired, so i’ll be going to bed now. goodnight bokuto, sleep well and get some rest. </p><p> </p><p>To: KAASHI</p><p>12:06 AM</p><p>i will! u sleep well 2!! goodnight kaashiiii :D</p><p> </p><p>Bokuto sighed and turned his phone off. If Akaashi didn’t want to talk about it, there was no point in trying to force him. For as open minded as Akaashi was, he was often stubborn about his own emotions. Even though the two of them had made it clear that they were each other's closest friends, Akaashi was fairly reserved and rarely told Bokuto when he was upset. </p><p>Bokuto rubbed his forehead with his hand, he felt a headache approaching. He felt incredibly sorry for his friend, but he couldn’t do anything to assist Akaashi until he was ready to tell Bokuto about it himself. That was the right thing to do. Wasn’t it? </p><p>Bokuto eventually dozed off into a fretful sleep, heart aching for the friend he couldn’t help. </p><p> </p><p>///////<b> October 17, 2:05 PM.</b></p><p> </p><p>“Yo, Akaashi,” Bokuto said nonchalantly as the two walked to the metro. “Wanna come to my place today? We haven’t hung out in a hot minute.” </p><p>Akaashi opened his mouth as if to reply, but shut it again just as quickly. </p><p>“I, uhm, I can’t hang out with you today.” </p><p>Bokuto’s heart dropped. He tried as best he could to hide his disappointment. </p><p>“Oh, okay! Uh, how ‘bout tomorrow? Are you free then?” </p><p>Akaashi looked mildly uncomfortable, and Bokuto quickly hoped he hadn’t pushed his boundaries.</p><p>“I’m not free then either, Bokuto. I’m not free at any point this week.” </p><p>“It’s okay! I get it! Maybe sometime next week,” Bokuto smiled, glancing over at Akaashi. </p><p>Akaashi didn’t smile back. “Yeah, maybe then.” </p><p> </p><p>/////// <b>October 18, 8:32 AM.</b></p><p> </p><p>Akaashi wasn’t at the station the next morning. Bokuto couldn’t find him anywhere on the platform. </p><p>
  <em>Weird. He’s normally here earlier than me. Maybe he slept in or something. </em>
</p><p>Bokuto pulled out his phone and shot Akaashi a text. He was probably just running late, that’s all. </p><p>The metro came and Akaashi still hadn’t shown. </p><p>Later that day, Akaashi didn’t show up to their meet up place. </p><p>Akaashi still hadn’t responded to any of Bokuto’s texts. </p><p>
  <em>He probably just took a sick day. I don’t wanna bug him or anything. </em>
</p><p>Bokuto ignored the disappointment of not having seen Akaashi all day, and walked home alone for the first time all year. </p><p>Akaashi wasn’t there the next day, or the day after that, or the day after that one. </p><p>Bokuto was officially worried. Akaashi wasn’t picking up his phone or texting him back. </p><p>
  <em>Is Akaashi avoiding me? On purpose? No way he’s been out sick for 4 whole days. </em>
</p><p>On October 22, Bokuto got to school 15 minutes early and planted himself outside of Akaashi’s first period. He waited. And then Bokuto saw him. His heart dropped. Akaashi looked like shit. Maybe he really had been out sick. </p><p>His hair was even wilder than usual, and there were large dark bags underneath his eyes. His posture was slouched, and he looked so tired that Bokuto didn’t even think he had noticed him standing there outside of his classroom. </p><p>“Akaashi!” Bokuto yelled to get his attention. </p><p>Akaashi quickly looked up and immediately began walking the other direction. </p><p>“Akaashi!” Bokuto yelled once more, this time moving to chase after his retreating friend. </p><p>Akaashi kept his head trained on the ground, his gaze as stern and cold as the day Bokuto had first met him. </p><p>“Akaashi, where have you been?” Bokuto asked, walking next to Akaashi.</p><p>No response. Bokuto’s heart clenched, but not in a good way. </p><p>“Kaashi, are you ignoring me?” Bokuto continued, this time his voice quieter, the hurt obvious in his tone. “Have you even been at school?” </p><p>“Yes, I’ve been at school,” Akaashi muttered.</p><p>“So you <em> have </em>been ignoring me,” Bokuto replied, his vision blurring slightly. </p><p>Akaashi didn’t reply, his eyes still focused on the ground in front of him. </p><p>Bokuto wouldn’t take the silence as an answer. “Did I do something wrong?” </p><p>Akaashi slowed his pace, stopping when they reached a mainly secluded part of the school. The bell signalling the start of first period rang, but Bokuto could care less. </p><p>Akaashi looked into Bokuto’s eyes for the first time all day, his face emotionless and unexpressive. </p><p>“No, Bokuto, you didn’t do anything wrong.” </p><p>“Then why haven’t you texted me? Or called me back? Or met up in our spot? Or even walked with me to school, or home? Where have you been?” Bokuto took a deep breath and continued in a softer, less angry tone, “I’ve been really worried about you. You just- disappeared. I thought you were home sick or something and I didn’t wanna bug you, but turns out I’ve been bugging you all along anyway!”</p><p>Akaashi sighed and held Bokuto’s gaze with a far less dispassionate stare than before. </p><p>“It’s not anything that you did, I promise. It’s just that-“ Akaashi cut off, tilting his head up at the ceiling. “My parents banned me from seeing you.” </p><p>
  <em>Huh? Oh. </em>
</p><p>“Oh.” </p><p>“Yeah, oh.” Akaashi blinked slowly. </p><p>“Is that why you couldn’t hang out with me the other day?”  </p><p>“Yeah.” </p><p>A moment of stillness passed between them. Bokuto was having a battle within his head. What to do next? </p><p>
  <em>Are we doing this? Am I gonna say it? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Am I in the wrong right now?  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’m a shit person.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I want to be there for him.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Fuck it.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t wanna have to do this, but obviously you’re in pain. I was gonna wait for you to tell me but, fuck! Akaashi, I want to help you so badly, and I want you to know I’ll always be here for you no matter what- but, I heard your parents talking.” </p><p>Akaashi’s eyes widened, his emotionless facade broken within a matter of moments. </p><p>Bokuto continued carefully, “The day they got into that fight when I was at your house. On my way out, I heard. I know why you can’t see me, Akaashi.”</p><p>The silence was smothering, and Bokuto could tell the gears in Akaashi’s head were working a mile a minute. He could see his chest rising and falling rapidly, his eyes slowly falling shut. A single tear fell from Akaashi’s closed eyes, and Bokuto felt his heart twist like never before. </p><p>
  <em>Fuck. Fuck, I really screwed up. </em>
</p><p>“Akaashi, I-“ </p><p>Akaashi fell to his knees, his breathing coming out labored and harsh. The tears fell freely even through his tightly closed eyes. </p><p>
  <em>Is he having a panic attack?! </em>
</p><p>“Akaashi! Are you okay? Are you having a panic attack?!” </p><p>Akaashi pressed his head into his hands, his breath coming in fast and shallow breaths. He sobbed, his whole body shaking. </p><p>
  <em>What do I do?! Oh, I really, really fucked up. </em>
</p><p>Bokuto dropped to his knees in front of Akaashi, swiftly pulling him close into his chest. </p><p>“Shh, shh it’s okay, I’m right here don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere, I promise,” Bokuto whispered, running his hands in circles on Akaashi’s back. </p><p>“Breathe, in, and out,” Bokuto soothed. </p><p>When it was obvious Akaashi wasn’t trying to control his breaths, Bokuto tried again. </p><p>“Akaashi, in and out. In,” this time Bokuto felt Akaashi take a large breath in shakily, “now out.” </p><p>He huffed out the air, his voice quivering against Bokuto. </p><p>“That’s it. I’m right here. I’m right here.” </p><p>Bokuto wasn’t sure how much time passed until Akaashi’s breathing slowly calmed to a more manageable pace. He finally stilled, the only thing alerting Bokuto that Akaashi hadn’t fallen asleep in his arms was the ragged sound of him crying. </p><p>Bokuto just hugged him tighter. He had never felt this way about anyone. He cared for Akaashi so much, and never wanted to see him in pain again. He would do anything for him. Anything to see him happy. Hearing him cry for the first time ever was shocking, and Bokuto hoped that every time Akaashi cried in the future that he could be there to comfort him through it. </p><p>“How ‘bout we skip school? You can come back to my place and we can just relax.” </p><p>Akaashi didn’t say anything, he just nodded tiredly against Bokuto. Bokuto couldn’t express in words how much he liked Akaashi. It was an overwhelming feeling. </p><p>“Okay, come on, let’s go,” Bokuto replied, grabbing Akaashi around the waist and helping him to stand. </p><p>Akaashi sniffed, and wiped his nose with his sleeve, trying to hide his face from Bokuto. </p><p>When they got to Bokuto’s house, his mom didn't question what was wrong once she saw Akaashi’s red, tear stained, splotchy face. They went straight up to his room, and Bokuto knew he’d probably have to explain himself to his mom later once Akaashi left. </p><p>On the way up the stairs, Akaashi turned to look over at Bokuto through wet, long eyelashes. Akaashi would probably murder him if he ever said it out loud, but Bokuto thought Akaashi looked beautiful whether he was crying or not. </p><p>Bokuto hung his own bag, along with Akaashi’s that he had carried home, on the hook behind his door. </p><p>Akaashi hadn’t said a single word the entire walk home, and simply flopped onto Bokuto’s bed face down. </p><p>Bokuto walked over to his bed and tapped Akaashi’s shoulder as he lifted up the comforter for him to slide under. Akaashi made his way under the blanket and rested his head sleepily on the pillow. Bokuto’s heart jumped in his chest as he watched Akaashi, with closed eyes, reach out to blindly grab for the plush owl he had gotten Bokuto for his birthday. He cuddled the owl on his chest, resting his chin on its head. Bokuto was more than happy just to let Akaashi rest. He most definitely needed it. </p><p>He didn’t want to intrude on the sleep that his friend so desperately needed, so Bokuto settled himself down on the beanbag in the corner of his room and closed his eyes, ready to take a nap of his own. </p><p>
  <em>I really hope he’s not mad at me. I don’t know what I’d do if Akaashi was actually angry with me. </em>
</p><p>“Bokuto?” </p><p>Bokuto’s eyes snapped open and he sat up quicker than he ever had in his entire life.</p><p>“Yes Akaashi?” </p><p>Bokuto wasn’t sure if it was from all the crying, but he was almost 100 percent sure Akaashi’s face had gotten slightly redder in the past few seconds. </p><p>“Could you, uh-“ Akaashi shifted on the pillow, “maybe come nap with me? On the bed? I’m a little cold,” he asked quietly. </p><p>Bokuto leapt up from his spot on the beanbag and threw himself eagerly onto his bed. He lay down on the pillows next to Akaashi, and lifted the blanket to slide underneath. </p><p>His heart skipped a beat as Akaashi moved in next to him, resting his head on Bokuto’s chest and pressing his body flush against his. </p><p>“You’re warm,” Akaashi murmured. </p><p>“And you’re always cold,” Bokuto smiled, wrapping his arms around the darker-haired boy.</p><p>Bokuto could hear Akaashi sigh, and could feel the boy’s body go limp as he relaxed. </p><p>His cheeks heated as he felt the younger boy at his side breathe calmly, his breaths eventually evening out into sleep. </p><p>
  <em>This is nice. </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>/////// <b>October 23, 2:02 AM.</b></p><p> </p><p>To: Bokuto </p><p>2:02 AM:</p><p>-Bokuto, are you still awake? </p><p> </p><p>To: KAASHI </p><p>2:03 AM: </p><p>-HEYY!!! ya i am! y ru still up?? :o </p><p> </p><p>To: Bokuto</p><p>2:05 AM:</p><p>-I just wanted to talk. Thank you for earlier today. I really appreciate it. </p><p> </p><p>To: KAASHI </p><p>2:05 AM:</p><p>-yea ofc!! i was rly worried ab u :(( ru doing better?? </p><p> </p><p>To: Bokuto </p><p>2:07 AM:</p><p>-yes, I’m doing much better. I just needed to rest, that’s all. </p><p> </p><p>To: KAASHI </p><p>2:08 AM: </p><p>-well i’m happy ur doing better!! HJSJDJS i’m also glad u stopped avoiding me </p><p> </p><p>To: Bokuto </p><p>2:10 AM: </p><p>-lol about that… my parents haven’t changed their mind about letting me see you. They’re afraid that (and i’m sure you already know this about me based on the conversation you overheard), that me liking boys would somehow influence our friendship. If that makes sense...</p><p> </p><p>To: KAASHI</p><p>2:10 AM:</p><p>-bruh </p><p> </p><p>To: Bokuto </p><p>2:10 AM:</p><p>-yes, bruh. </p><p> </p><p>To: KAASHI </p><p>2:10 AM:</p><p>-that’s DUMB :(( </p><p> </p><p>To: Bokuto </p><p>2:11 AM:</p><p>-yes it is. we’ll still be able to see eachother at school, though </p><p> </p><p>To: KAASHI </p><p>2:12 AM: </p><p>-YEA!! that’s true </p><p>-think they’ll ever change their mind?? </p><p> </p><p>To: Bokuto </p><p>2:14 AM: </p><p>-guess we’ll have to see </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>/////// <b>October 26, 12:55 PM. </b></p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Bumph if you justh said you were, mm, haning ouht after school.”</p><p>“Bokuto, please eat your food and <em> then </em>talk,” Akaashi grimaced as Bokuto attempted to speak through his hotdog. </p><p>Bokuto grunted and swallowed his lunch, burping loudly afterwards. Akaashi didn’t look too pleased with the sudden shameless display of grotesque behavior, and Bokuto laughed at the face Akaashi sent his way. </p><p>Bokuto smiled and turned his attention to one of the large lunchroom windows. The heavy torrent of rain outside pattered against the glass, the sky dark and cloudy behind it. The trees in the schoolyard swayed wildly in the wind, fighting valiantly against the unforeseen downpour. </p><p>“What were you saying, Bokuto?” </p><p>“Yes! As I was saying,” Bokuto snapped his gaze back to Akaashi, “if you just said that you were hanging out after school, you wouldn’t get caught. Say you had to talk to a teacher, or attend a study session or something. Or volleyball practice.” </p><p>Akaashi sighed. “Volleyball season doesn’t start for another month. They’d never believe that.”</p><p>Bokuto glared and continued, “What about my study idea? Would they buy that?” </p><p>Akaashi looked defeated, the corners of his lips turning downwards into a frown. “No, no they wouldn’t. They’re probably already mad enough that I can see you at school.”  Akaashi hummed for a second and fell forward onto his elbows, resting his chin on his hands. “And besides, I’m hanging out with Konoha today after school,” he added in an almost reluctant tone. </p><p>Bokuto’s belly instantaneously turned with discomfort, and he could feel his frown dropping further. Was this vexation? Or something else? </p><p>“Konoha?”</p><p>Akaashi gave Bokuto a look he couldn’t identify. “Yes, Konoha.”<br/>
<br/>
Bokuto was perplexed. He was under the impression that Akaashi couldn’t see him because his family was worried that Akaashi being gay would somehow change their friendship. However, he was still allowed to see Konoha? </p><p>“But, I thought you said…” Bokuto trailed off, unsure of where he intended for the conversation to go. “I thought you said you couldn’t see me because your parents thought we’d like- I don’t know, <em> do stuff. </em>Cause I’m a dude, and you like dudes.” </p><p>Akaashi shifted in his chair, suddenly looking uncomfortable. “Don’t flatter yourself, Bokuto. Just because you’re a boy and we hang out doesn’t mean I like you.”</p><p>Bokuto was quick to cut him off. “Yes! Yes of course I know that! Duh! I was just saying that your parents don’t know that! Cause they’re just <em> like that </em>.” </p><p>Akaashi nodded, not meeting Bokuto’s eyes.<br/>
<br/>
“So you can’t hang out with me but you can hang out with Konoha?” </p><p>“I suppose so.” </p><p>
  <em>That- that doesn’t make sense. </em>
</p><p>Bokuto bounced his leg as he sat. His brain tried to make sense of the conversation, but he always seemed to fall just short of the answer. What was he missing? Even still, Bokuto couldn’t help the feeling that bubbled in his chest. He realized it wasn’t anger he was feeling, but jealousy. He was jealous. </p><p>Was Akaashi lying? </p><p>
  <em>Is Akaashi lying to me? </em>
</p><p>Bokuto couldn’t help as the jealousy rapidly faded away and melted into hurt. He didn’t want to admit he cared so much. </p><p> </p><p>/////// that same night, in the dark of his room, Bokuto whispered up to the stars.</p><p>
  <em>I don’t know what to do. I’ve never liked anyone like I like him. He’s so different from anyone I’ve ever met and he’s- oh my god, he’s so special. He’s so smart, and athletic, and reliable, and everytime I tell him he denies it. I just wish he could see himself the way I see him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Everytime I’m around him, it feels like the best time of my life. Is this normal? I haven’t known Akaashi for very long, but I feel as if my life wouldn’t be the same if he weren’t in it. I just want him to be happy. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He shouldn’t have to deal with his parents, or what they think. I just hope that someday he can live his life without judgement. I hope that someday the world will be kinder. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh this is so cheesy, but, I feel this gravitational pull towards him. Like all the universe and all of the galaxies had a talk and said, “yeah, it’s time.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fuck, I think I’m in love with Akaashi Keiji. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>If Bokuto believed in fate, or even destiny, he’d say that the day he forgot to set his alarm and ended up missing his train had been just that. Fate. Destiny. </p><p>He never had believed in any of it before, but maybe now, maybe now he did. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>/////// <b>October 27, 2:15 AM.</b></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ring, Ring!! Ring!  </em>
</p><p>“...Bokuto?” </p><p>Bokuto sighed a breath of both relief, and nerves. Akaashi picked up. It was now or never. </p><p>“Hey Akaashi! You free right now?” Bokuto’s heart was beating so fast he thought it was going to explode. </p><p>“It’s two AM Bokuto, of course I’m free,” Akaashi replied sleepily. </p><p>“Oh, well, we can always talk tomorrow if you’re tired! It’s not that important anyway! Get some rest, okay?” </p><p>Akaashi was quick to reply. “No, I want to talk now. What is it?” </p><p>Bokuto was so sure of himself before he dialed Akaashi’s number. Now, as the two sat listening on the phone, he found himself suddenly paralyzed with fear. </p><p>“Bokuto?” </p><p>“Yeah, I’m still here.”</p><p>“Are you, okay?” Akaashi asked, the concern evident in his tone. </p><p>Bokuto was so nervous. “Yeah, I’m just trying to think of how to say this.” </p><p>Silence. </p><p>
  <em>Okay. Here goes- </em>
</p><p>“I like you!” </p><p>Bokuto immediately cringed at himself. </p><p>
  <em>What was that?! </em>
</p><p>“I mean, I should hope you like me. I’d be offended if you had been hanging out with me all this time and had not liked me.” </p><p>Bokuto stopped just short of facepalming. For as smart as Akaashi was, the true meaning of Bokuto’s words had gone completely over his head. “No Akaashi! I <em> like </em>like you! Like, I like you as more than a friend. Like- I think I really, really like you.” </p><p>Silence, again. </p><p>“That’s a lot of likes,” Akaashi whispered through the phone. </p><p>Bokuto chuckled. “Yeah, it is.”</p><p>Bokuto’s heart was in his throat as he awaited a response. Would Akaashi stop hanging out with him at school now? Would he think he was weird? </p><p>“Do you remember me mentioning that I hung out with Konoha today?” </p><p>
  <em>That’s random… </em>
</p><p>“Uh, yeah?” Bokuto replied, hanging onto every one of Akaashi’s words, his heart thumping at an allegro pace. </p><p>“Well, my parents are allowing me to see Konoha because they know I don’t have romantic feelings for him.” </p><p>Bokuto wasn’t following. </p><p>“So…?” </p><p>Akaashi heavily sighed, as if the answer was somehow obvious. “Bokuto, I can’t see you because I <em> do </em>have romantic feelings for you.” </p><p>An immediate smile spread across Bokuto’s face, and if smiles could emit light, the entirety of Bokuto’s dark room would glow brightly. </p><p>“You do?!” Bokuto asked, shocked. </p><p>“Yes, I do.” </p><p>Bokuto felt a kind of happiness he had never experienced before. It was different from the kind of happiness he felt when he scored in a volleyball game, or pet a cute dog, or passed a test he thought he had failed. It was a completely new feeling. </p><p>It was like looking out the window when it was dark expecting to see the stars and instead, seeing an entire nebula.</p><p>“Wow,” Bokuto whispered, his eyes closed. </p><p>The two sat in silence for a few minutes, and Bokuto had a feeling Akaashi was smiling on the other side of the phone right along with him. </p><p>Bokuto broke the silence with a question. “How’d they find out? Find out you liked me, I mean,” He asked curiously, assuming there was no way Akaashi had told them outwardly, all things considered. </p><p>“My mom found my journal and read it. She found it right before we got home that one day after school, you remember the fight my parents had, yes?” </p><p>“Yeah, I remember that.” Bokuto frowned at the memory. “So they didn’t confront you about it immediately because I was there?” </p><p>“Yes. After you left, they came into my room and told me they’d be taking me to conversion therapy. I don’t think I’ve ever been angrier.” </p><p>“Yo, I’m really sorry you had to go through that,” Bokuto said, the thought of Akaashi sitting inside an office getting lectured about who he liked sending pains through his heart. </p><p>“It’s alright. It’s not as if the therapy is actually doing anything,” Akaashi quietly laughed. </p><p>The two sat in comfortable silence, absorbing the prior conversation. </p><p>“Wow, I can’t believe you actually like me! You did write ‘bout me in your journal, after all.” Bokuto said in a cheeky tone, a devilish grin spreading across his face. </p><p>“If you say it like that, maybe I’ll change my mind.” </p><p>“AKAASHI!!” </p><p>“I’m joking.” </p><p>Bokuto blushed. “So, does this mean we’re dating now?” </p><p>After a quick pause, Akaashi questioned, “Do you want it to mean that?” </p><p>“Do <em> you </em>?” </p><p>“Yes Bokuto, I do,” Akaashi replied, even more hushed than before. </p><p>“Then yes. Akaashi Keiji, will you be my boyfriend?” Bokuto asked, beaming. </p><p>“Give me a second to think about it,” Akaashi joked once more. “Yes, yes of course I will.” </p><p>Bokuto wasn’t sure if he believed in fate, but  maybe he’d say that the stars above them that night had cheered their fortune, and had celebrated the glory that was Akaashi Keiji and Bokuto Koutarou. Perhaps they had smiled down on the two of them, praising them for moving past the world’s cruelty. </p><p>Maybe the stars had decided on that same exact night that the two had taken the world’s limited kindness for granted. </p><p>Perhaps it was that night that the universe decided what was to come, sealed in a small envelope labeled destiny. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>/////// <b>October 27, 8:27 AM.</b></p><p> </p><p>Bokuto was so excited he had to physically restrain himself from sprinting to the metro. He was about to see his boyfriend! The new word felt foreign in Bokuto’s head, but he enjoyed the way that ‘Akaashi’ and ‘boyfriend’ sounded together. </p><p>He carried himself up the stairs taking two at a time, too amped up with energy to take the crowded escalator. When he reached the top of the platform, he saw Akaashi, standing in their regular spot. </p><p>He looked the same as he normally did. He wore his Fukurodani uniform neatly, his dark hair was mused and messy, and he stood with his fingers laced in front of him, gaze traveling across the busy station. Akaashi looked the same as he normally did, but Bokuto saw something different in him today. </p><p>This time, Bokuto didn’t wave or shout Akaashi’s name as he approached with haste. Today was different. Bokuto couldn’t contain himself as he all but threw himself at Akaashi, wrapping his large arms around the smaller boy. </p><p>Akaashi startled with a grunt, taken off guard by Bokuto’s sudden appearance and the lack of a hello.</p><p>“Good morning Bokuto,” Akaashi greeted. Even though Bokuto couldn’t see Akaashi’s face through the hug, he could hear the smile in his voice. </p><p>“Good morning Akaashi!” Bokuto replied, hugging Akaashi impossibly tighter. </p><p>Akaashi hugged back, but Bokuto could tell he was losing air in the tight embrace, so he released him. </p><p>The two pulled away, and for the first time all day, Bokuto could stare into the blue eyes that he had grown so fond of in the past months. The platform and all the people on it fell away into the distance. The only thing Bokuto could focus on was Akaashi. </p><p>Akaashi looked softer today. His facial features relaxed, a small smile illuminating his face. Bokuto didn’t think he could possibly look more angelic, light flooding onto him from the open platform. </p><p>“Akaashi,” Bokuto offhandedly said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Can I kiss you?” </p><p>Akaashi glanced over Bokuto’s shoulder at the people making their way around. “Not on the platform.” </p><p>The metro whooshed onto the rails, hitting the two boys with a sudden gust of breeze. Bokuto loved the way it felt on his face every time. Akaashi smiled as it came to a stop, turning to step onto the car. Bokuto stood, realizing with a smile that Akaashi was his boyfriend now, and no longer just a friend. Bokuto followed Akaashi into a pair of seats in the back of a relatively un-busy car. The only other people inside with them were occupied, on their phones, not facing the two. </p><p>As the doors closed and the metro took off, Bokuto shifted in his seat, his leg brushing up against Akaashi’s. </p><p>“Bokuto,” Akaashi whispered, turning to hold Bokuto’s gaze. His eyes dropped to his mouth, long, dark eyelashes fluttering. “You can kiss me now.” </p><p>Bokuto’s heart leapt in his chest, beating hard and fast as he felt a red blush cover his cheeks. He leaned forward, hand moving up to sit on the side of Akaashi’s face. </p><p>His eyes fell closed as his lips met Akaashi’s. The placement was a little off, as Bokuto had leaned in quicker and more rushed than he probably should have. Akaashi’s lips were slightly chapped, but soft nonetheless. Bokuto thought that if this moment had been in a movie, it would be raining fireworks. Bokuto pulled away after a second or two, smiling wider than he ever thought possible. </p><p>Akaashi smiled back. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>/////// <b>October 31, 2:08 PM. </b></p><p> </p><p>Bokuto sat underneath a cherry blossom in the yard, dozing off as he waited for Akaashi. He felt his head fall sharply off to the side for the fifth time as his body tried to send him off into sleep while sitting up. Today had been busy, school was hard. Bokuto shivered as a cold breeze traveled up his neck. The weather had begun to cool down, the promise of winter looming around the corner. </p><p>Bokuto snapped his eyes open as he felt a hand on his shoulder. </p><p>“Hi Bokuto,” Akaashi greeted, slumping down onto the ground against him. </p><p>Bokuto smiled and pressed his side into Akaashi’s. </p><p>“Hey Akaashi.” </p><p>Akaashi leaned his head onto Bokuto’s shoulder, and the two sat in tranquility for a minute or two. </p><p>“I have good news,” Akaashi said with a start. </p><p>“Oo do tell,” Bokuto sat up straighter, Akaashi pulling himself off of Bokuto’s side to face him. </p><p>“I told my mom I’d be staying over at Konoha’s house tonight for Halloween,” Akaashi said. </p><p>Bokuto’s face fell. “I thought you were gonna hang out with me tonight, ‘Kaashi,” he pouted. </p><p>Akaashi’s eyes lit up with amusement and he sighed. “I am hanging out with you tonight. I lied to my parents so I’d be able to.” </p><p>Bokuto’s eyebrows shot up and he was hit with a wave of surprise. “You’d do that for me?” </p><p>“I already did,” Akaashi replied, moving to grab his bag as he stood. </p><p>“Akaashi you’re such a rebel!” Bokuto followed pace, grabbing his bag along with Akaashi’s outstretched arm, helping him to stand. “This is the first time you’re staying over at my house! A sleepover!” Bokuto realized with a small hop. </p><p>“Yes, it is. What do you want to do for Halloween?” Akaashi asked.</p><p>“Let’s watch a scary movie and eat tons of candy! Oh and we’ll play some video games! How’s that sound?”</p><p>“Think you'll be able to handle a scary movie?” </p><p>“Duh of course, why would you even ask me that, it’s obvious.” </p><p>Akaashi laughed, genuinely laughed, and the sound sent sparks up Bokuto’s skin. </p><p>When they arrived at Bokuto’s house, they went straight up to his room after saying hello to his mom. </p><p>Bokuto, upon entering his room, dropped his bag and plopped himself down face first onto his bed. He was so, so tired. He could hear Akaashi moving around the room, and then he felt him lay down on the bed next to him. Bokuto rolled over so he could face his boyfriend, who had begun lazily running his fingers through Bokuto’s hair. Bokuto swore that every time their eyes met it was like the day he met Akaashi for the first time ever- breathtaking. Almost on impulse, his hand found Akaashi’s jaw, and the next thing he knew, he was leaning in to press his lips to Akaashi’s. He deepened the kiss by gently tilting Akaashi’s chin upward, revelling in the way his hands softly traveled across his shoulders. </p><p>When they pulled away, Akaashi immediately turned away from him, and then pressed his back against Bokuto’s chest. </p><p>Bokuto nuzzled his face into Akaashi’s hair lazily. “Oh so we’re spooning now?” He asked with a laugh, wrapping his arm around Akaashi and intertwining their hands. </p><p>“Yes. Now quiet so we can take a nap.”  </p><p> </p><p>—————</p><p> </p><p>Bokuto’s eyes slowly opened, woken by a hand running across his jaw. The first thing he saw was Akaashi, who had rolled over and was facing Bokuto. </p><p>“Hey Akaashi,” he said sleepily. </p><p>“Hi Bokuto,” he replied. </p><p>“How long have you been awake for?” </p><p>Akaashi hummed. “Maybe ten minutes. Not long. You were drooling.” </p><p>“Was not!” </p><p>“It’s cute though.” </p><p>
  <em>Damn. What did I do to get so lucky? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>/////// <b>November 1, 2:12 AM.</b></p><p> </p><p>“Okay my turn. What’s your biggest pet peeve?” </p><p>“I suppose it’s when people are close minded. That was directed at my parents. My turn. If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?” </p><p>Bokuto laughed. “Maybe America. I’ve always wanted to go! But you said right now, so maybe not. There’s nowhere I’d rather be right now than here.” </p><p>Even in the cold tint of Bokuto’s blue LED lights, he could see his boyfriend blush. This time, it wasn’t Bokuto who leaned in for the kiss, but Akaashi. With Akaashi leading, it was slower, more deliberate, calculated in an undeliberate kind of way. Bokuto loved it. </p><p>
  <em>I wish this moment could last forever. </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>/////// <b>November 1, 2:22 PM. </b></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> RING!! RING!!  </em>
</p><p>Bokuto picked his head up from off of his desk to peek over at his phone. He had been attempting to complete his math homework ever since Akaashi left his house at around noon, and to no avail. </p><p>Akaashi was calling. Bokuto clicked the green accept button on his phone and sat back in his chair. </p><p>“Hey ‘Kaashi! Miss me already?” He said with a wide grin. </p><p>“Bokuto.” </p><p>The same grin that was spread across Bokuto’s face fell immediately. Akaashi’s voice was strained, and Bokuto could hear him sniffling on the other end of the phone as if he had been crying. </p><p>“Akaashi, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” His concern was growing larger with every second.</p><p>Bokuto heard Akaashi take a deep breath. “My parents, they know.” </p><p>Bokuto’s heart sank. </p><p>“I-“ Bokuto paused. “How’d they find out?” </p><p>“They called Konoha’s parents at around the time I was leaving your house. They called to see if I was actually there, and, obviously I wasn’t,” Akaashi whispered. He took another shaky breath and continued, “they called me and told me to get home immediately so we could talk. They knew where I was. Where else would I be?” </p><p>“Akaashi, Akaashi calm down. It’s gonna be okay. Have they said what they’re gonna do?” </p><p>At that moment, it sounded as if Akaashi might have a panic attack, not unlike the one he had at school. </p><p>“That’s the thing, Bokuto. They’re threatening to move our family away. Out of Tokyo. They say if the therapy isn’t working, then nothing can save me. The only other solution would be to get me away from the problem,” Akaashi spat the last word into the phone as if it were poison on his tongue. </p><p>Bokuto moved a trembling hand up to his forehead, absorbing what he had just heard from his boyfriend. </p><p>
  <em>Moving away? </em>
</p><p>“Akaashi, they’re just trying to scare you. They won’t actually move you away.” Bokuto tried to sound convincing, but his tone was wavering and he wondered if he was really trying to assure Akaashi or himself. </p><p>“I don’t think they’re bluffing.” </p><p>Bokuto’s heart broke in his chest. Akaashi sounded so defeated. So tired. It hurt Bokuto in a way that he could never describe. It was a physical pain that felt so very real, and so very tangible. It was very rare that Bokuto Koutarou found himself at a loss for words; this was one of those moments. He was speechless. </p><p>“They’re coming now, I have to go. Goodbye Koutarou.” </p><p>The hand holding the phone slowly fell away from his ear, vision blurring. </p><p>
  <em>This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. </em>
</p><p>Bokuto’s heart thumped at an erratic pace, his fingers still shaky. Holding his head in his hands, he cried. Cried for the first time in a long time. He had been so happy, there had been nothing to upset him. The universe had been working in his favor, hadn’t it? Hadn’t it? </p><p>At 11:12 PM later that same day, Bokuto got another phone call. From Akaashi. Bokuto stared at the screen for a few moments blankly before he clicked accept. Before he could open his mouth to speak, Akaashi interrupted. </p><p>“Bokuto-san? Can't believe I ever called you that. Kou sounds so much cuter.” He slurred into the speaker.</p><p>Bokuto’s worry spiked in his throat upon hearing the sound. “Kaashi, are you <em> drunk </em> right now?” </p><p>“Maybe," Akaashi laughed. "Parents left to see someone. Probably another therapist. Fuck,” Bokuto could hear something break in the background as the phone line went fuzzy. “Fuck the therapists,” Akaashi finished with a laugh. Then he began to cry. </p><p>“Akaashi,” Bokuto shifted the phone to his other ear, unsure of what to say. </p><p>Akaashi sniffed. “Bokuto, can I see you? Right now?” </p><p>“Yes, of course!” He was quick to answer. “I’ll be there really soon!” </p><p>“No! No, please, you can’t come here,” Akaashi begged. “My parents, my parents would lose it. Meet me at the station.”</p><p>Bokuto immediately felt a cold worry stir in his stomach. A kind of dread he couldn’t put into words even if he tried. “No Akaashi, don't leave your house. You can’t go anywhere drunk.” </p><p>“Well, I'm going to the station. Meet me there, Kou.” </p><p>Akaashi hung up. </p><p>Bokuto slammed his fist onto the desk, immediate regret filling his gut as it swelled red. Tears threatened to spill, a headache forming at the front of his head. </p><p>“What the <em> fuck </em>Akaashi?!” Bokuto growled, throwing on his coat and running to grab his shoes near the door. </p><p>
  <em>Maybe if I get there fast enough I can turn him back around. Bring him back here. Protect him from his parents. Fuck! He lives so much closer to the station than I do...</em>
</p><p>Bokuto dashed out the front of his house, and began running faster than he ever had in his entire life. Bokuto was shivering, but not because of the cold air. Ice spread from his head to toes, an unspoken anxiety at the situation at hand. For some reason, Bokuto felt extreme trepidation. </p><p>The sky was completely clear that night. The moon was shining bright and bold down onto the street as Bokuto booked it downtown, the soles of his sneakers slapping loudly against the concrete sidewalk. Tonight, it seemed as if the lights of Tokyo were dimmed, and the galaxies in the sky shone brighter than usual against the vast and seemingly unending cityscape. </p><p>The stars watched as Bokuto almost slipped rounding a corner, catching himself on a lamp post. The stars watched as he panted into the cold fall air. The stars watched as he glanced down at his watch. The stars watched as he caught sight of the nearly empty station. </p><p>Bokuto gasped in relief, his heart pounding as he sprinted up the stairs. </p><p>“Akaashi! Akaashi!” He yelled as he reached the top. </p><p>No one was there. </p><p>“Akaashi!” Bokuto called out, his voice echoing off of the platform walls. He was taken off guard as the train whooshed onto the platform, whipping his ungelled hair off of his forehead. </p><p>Akaashi wasn’t here. </p><p>
  <em>He’s probably back at the house, passed out or something. Right? </em>
</p><p>Something in Bokuto’s heart told him he shouldn’t leave. He was in the right place. </p><p>Bokuto shoved his hands into his pockets as the train came to a stop. </p><p>He turned around and plopped himself down onto the bench he had sat on the very first day of school. The day he had met Akaashi. Bokuto smiled softly at the memory. Akaashi had been so reserved and quiet, writing in his notepad while he showed no disappointment at missing his train. Missing that train was one of the best things to ever happen to Bokuto. He suddenly had the wild urge to cry, as if he was already missing something that wasn’t gone. </p><p>20 minutes passed and still no Akaashi. Bokuto remained on the bench, unable to ignore the feeling that swelled in his heart. Something told him he needed to stay. He was right where he needed to be. Right where the stars told him to be. </p><p>40 minutes, and then an hour passed by. Bokuto reluctantly stood up, his legs slightly locked from being seated for so long. </p><p>
  <em>Maybe I’ll stop by his house. Just to be safe. </em>
</p><p>Less than 10 minutes later, Bokuto was standing on the Akaashi house doorstep. He hesitantly reached out and knocked. He rocked backwards on his ankles as he waited. Akaashi’s mother opened the door, and then began to close it again once she realized it was Bokuto who had knocked. Bokuto immediately shoved his hand into the door, wincing as it collided with the wood.</p><p>“Please! Akaashi-san, it’s important! I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t really, really important.” </p><p>When Akaashi’s mom slowly opened the door and peeked at Bokuto through the gap, he bowed deeply, hoping his point got across. When he glanced back up, she was standing in the doorway with her arms crossed across her chest. </p><p>“Where’s Akaashi?” She asked crossly, a flash of worry glossed over her sharp features, as if she expected the two to have been together. </p><p>“Wait, he’s not home?” </p><p>Akaashi’s mom raised her eyebrows. “He left his phone in his room, but he isn’t here. We assumed he was with you.” </p><p>“He,” Bokuto took a shaky breath in. “He’s not.” </p><p>Bokuto quickly explained what happened, his voice wobbly and disoriented. As the story went on, Akaashi’s mom began to look more and more troubled. </p><p>She called 110, and Bokuto sat outside on the porch of the Akaashi residence as <em> Keiji’s </em> parents spoke to the authorities. </p><p><em>Keiji. I like the way that sounds. </em>Bokuto thought to himself, threading his fingers together as he stared up at the sky. It was like someone took a bucket of glitter and dumped it onto a velvety black horizon. It was beautiful. </p><p>Akaashi’s parents and the cops sent Bokuto home, telling him to get rest. Telling him they'd call if they found anything. Knowing he wouldn’t be able to sleep even if he tried, Bokuto still complied. Bokuto felt possessed as he walked home. He wished he had a compass that led directly to Keiji. </p><p> </p><p>/////// <b>November 2, 3:22 AM. </b></p><p> </p><p>Bokuto stared up at his ceiling. He refused to cry. Crying would mean giving up hope. Keiji was fine. He had to be. What could have possibly happened? </p><p>At that moment, Bokuto got a call. He reached for his phone within a matter of seconds, quickly holding it up to his ear. </p><p>“Hello?” </p><p>It was Akaashi’s father. </p><p> </p><p>/////// <b>5:03 AM. </b></p><p> </p><p>Outside the Bokuto residence, the world was quiet. The sky was still very clear, and still very dark, the sunset holding out on the edge of the city. The stars remained in the sky that night longer than usual, gleaming brightly. </p><p>Bokuto’s mom held him in her arms as he cried, entire body shaking with pain. He had been crying for hours. </p><p>She rubbed her hand through his hair, silently crying along with him. To Bokuto, the skies outside were collapsing, the stars and the moon falling like a suffocating sheet over the city. </p><p>Akaashi Keiji, at 11:27 PM on November 1st, had fallen onto the metro tracks and was killed by the train that had followed. </p><p>Bokuto had been crying for so long that he no longer made any noise. At first, it had been long, weeping drawls, screams so loud and painful they reached the galaxies. Now, his tears were quiet and the kind that stole his breath away. </p><p>Keiji was gone. His soul was somewhere amongst the stars that had previously given the two boys everything. </p><p>Keiji’s funeral was small, and Bokuto attended alone with a bouquet of blue flowers, Akaashi’s favorite color. He was given an invitation out of respect, because it’s what Keiji would've wanted.</p><p>Bokuto kept his hands in his pockets the entirety of the service, his left fist curled around a sheet of lined notepaper. He left the service early, walking home slowly and quietly through the city. </p><p>The sky was very bright and very blue, clouds littered across the soft horizon. </p><p>That night, Bokuto lay awake, just as he had done for so many nights since November 2nd. </p><p>Bokuto rolled out of his bed and made his way over to the window. He pushed it up and sat on the floor, resting his chin on the arms that he had crossed on the ledge. From here, he could see the moon. He closed his eyes and allowed the soft breeze to caress his face.</p><p>Reaching into his pocket, Bokuto pulled out the sheet of paper he had carried earlier to Keiji’s funeral. Bokuto carefully unfolded it, careful to uncrease the edges as he did so. The moon and all the stars shone back at him, as if waiting to hear what Bokuto had to say. </p><p>He blinked harshly as tears welled in his eyes. He began to read off of the paper, glancing up at the sky before he began. </p><p>“Hi Keiji,” He started with a small laugh. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I miss you a lot.” Bokuto continued, a more serious tone to his voice now.</p><p>“Everything looks a lot duller now that you aren’t here. When you were with me, even before you became my boyfriend, the world seemed a lot lighter. You could easily turn one of my bad days into a good one, and seeing you everyday was enough to make me happy.” Bokuto wiped away a tear as it fell down his cheek. He forced himself to keep reading. </p><p>“I don’t think either of us expected to mean as much to each other as we did, but hey, that’s life. The night you,” Bokuto’s voice cracked. “The night you fell onto the tracks, something told me I had to stay at the station. It was a feeling, but I think in a weird way, I knew.” He sniffed, bringing his arm up to wipe his nose. </p><p>“I- okay this next part is real corny so don’t judge me,” Bokuto paused, this time no longer speaking to a funeral audience that wasn’t there, but to the stars where he imagined Keiji was laying, listening. “I really do think we were supposed to meet each other. I never really believed in fate, or destiny, or anything like that- but with you, it felt like anything was possible. This is a quote I stole off of google,” Bokuto chuckled, this time letting his tears flow freely down the sides of his face. “Keiji, if I had to do my life over again, I’d find you sooner so I could love you longer.” </p><p>Bokuto’s voice cracked as he cried. “I love you. I think I always will. Even though we didn’t get close to enough time together, thank you. Thank you so much. It’s insane how important someone can become to you in so little time.” </p><p>Bokuto smiled over at the plush owl sitting on his bed watching, then back up at the stars, who glimmered their approval back down to the Earth.</p><p>Bokuto smiled. </p><p> </p><p>“Goodbye Akaashi.” </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The quote at the very beginning of the story can be credited to the creator at https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4185790/the-odds/<br/>I gave the poem my own twist, but I do not take credit for the original work. The same goes for the quote Bokuto "stole off of Google," and his quote, "Oh this is so cheesy, but, I feel this gravitational pull towards him. Like all the universe and all of the galaxies had a talk and said, “yeah, it’s time.”<br/>I give credit to the original creators for these lines. </p><p>If you stayed this long, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. This fic means a lot to me, and I spent a long time writing it and rewriting it. The ending was rewritten over at least 5 times, and I wasn't exactly sure how I wanted to finish it. I'm really happy with the way it turned out, though. :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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